I first met Pauline Oliveros over 35 years ago in the Main Gallery at CalArts in Valencia, California. The occasion was a performance of her piece “El Relecario de los Animals”. I was in undergraduate composition students in the school of music; she was an iconic, accordion playing, deep listening, female icon of new music.

I never became a huge fan of Pauline’s music. But, with respect to Pauline as a human being, I am a great admirer. 

First of all, as to her musicianship, Pauline was a consummate musician of the highest order. She was simply a fantastic accordionist. The thing, though, is not so much about her playing but about her listening. Pauline’s deep reverence for the simple act of listening was breathtaking. Her “Deep Listening” workshops change the lives of men and women around the world. Her tiny little book on that subject is full of exercises and practices that have tremendously enhanced my ability, not only to hear music but, to hear the world around me. I am profoundly grateful to Pauline for teaching me to listen. Although my wife, some of my friends, and my boss may well not understand that because I have a tendency to speak before listening, when it comes to hearing subtly I am extremly adept and I owe it all to Pauline. To the, now bygone, spirit of Pauline Oliveros I want to express my gratitude and thanks.

Pauline’s will to help others did not stop with listening. Her project to use computer technology for the betterment of human beings led to the creation of the Adaptive Use Musical Instrument (AUMI). AUMI uses sound generation tools and a webcam to allowing users with very limited mobility to create music both alone and in groups. This project was not about ego, not about listening, and not about Financial gain. It was purely a selfless project to make better the lives of disabled people. It was, quite simply, a beautiful deeply moving humanitarian gesture. So, to the, now bygone, spirit of Pauline Oliveros I also want to express my admiration for your selfless love of people.

Pauline was born in 1932. She was a performer and composer as well as an accomplished philosopher. In the ‘60s, Pauline was among many of the most innovative musicians, like my mentor Mort Subotnick, at  San Francisco Tape Music Center. In the  ‘80s, she began her “Deep Listening” practice to which I am so indebted. 

Pauline was a constant collaborator with Stuart Dempster and many other amazing musicians. We sometimes think of Brian Eno as the guy who created ambient music.  But Pauline and Stuart are really the ones to create the first landmark recordings. 

Pauline has most recently been a Professor of Music at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and was the Milhaud Artist-in-Residence at Mills College. In my time, her work at UCSD and her visits to CalArts gave me a remarkable exposure to a remarkable woman. So, to the, now bygone, spirit of Pauline Oliveros I finally want to express my thanks for your willingness to share your aesthetic with all of us whose lives you touched.

It’s funny, you know, that I never really got to know Pauline well when I was actively involved in the  new music composition community. My real “friendship” with her came later in my life, believe it or not, through Facebook. Pauline took time from her busy schedule to actually interact with me about my listening practice, to discuss AUMI, and to teach me much, probably, without even knowing it. 

That’s the way Pauline was. She gave so much to other people, even me. She will always have my gratitude and she will always be in my heart. I will miss her joy, her selfless devotion to humanity, and, her generosity in teaching us all the art of listening to the subtle beauty of our world.

Rest In Peace o’deepest of listeners.

I’m disappointed that the Black Lives Matter protests in Portland have so fragmented the Black Lives Matter message. These protests are about everything from police brutality, to gun violence, to anti-war, anti-colonialism, and even anti-capitalism issues. I’m particularly disappointed in the latter. I’m a strong believer in the fight against stereotyping, profiling, and out-and-out killing of people of color by some or our countries police forces. But, sorry guys, I am a proud capitalist and see no relationship between trigger-happy cops and a free market economy. When you took all these other positions, you lost my support. I’ll fight for black lives forever but that fight has nothing to do with capitalism.

I also want to say is that you can’t be effective if you let people use your fight as justification for vandalism. Please speak out against those among you who would use the first amendment as license to destroy other people’s property. That does no one any good.

Lastly, I really don’t understand the purpose of having a protest to save black lives that involves keeping others from safely shopping at small businesses on the one day of the year that can make or break an entire year’s profitability. Keeping people away from Pearl District businesses on Black Friday does not help the cause of black people. It just makes life more difficult for middle class, hard working, merchants.

Now let me share a few images from today’s event.

  1. If you want to teach your kids that Black Lives Matter is an important message, I’m with you all the way. I’m proud of this photo and I’m proud of this kid and his parents.

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2. I’m not sure what it means to “Resist and Protect”. I hope it doesn’t mean resist arrest because that’s a quick way to incite exactly what you are trying to stop. Nice colors though.blm_pearldistrict_portland-blackfriday2016-1

3.Here is what i call an effective sign. It actually says something understandable and important.The pumpkin hair is a nice touch too.

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4. Standing still like a statue is not very effective in my book.Stop-motion Tai Chi doesn’t save lives when all you are doing is displaying random words about how bad profit is.

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5. I will admit that I find the mean girl pouty look kind of attractive but that’s just because I’ve never shed my male biases.blm_pearldistrict_portland-blackfriday2016-5

6. Getting shitty with the cops probably is not the best way to protest. Gandhi had a better approach. But conflict does make for good news photos. So here’s one I like.blm_pearldistrict_portland-blackfriday2016-6

So, look, y’all. Protest all you want. I wish you kept your message focused on Black Lives; then I could support you. Fragmentation dilutes the message. Plus, you lose people like me who agree with the main message but don’t buy into all you have added to it. Please consider not taking your anger out on small businesses. That doesn’t help. And, please, please, please don’t use your gatherings to condone property damage. That’s all I ask.

Some people hate my diatribes against political candidates, religious zealots, anti-rationalists, creationists, science-haters, war-mongers, racists, misogynists, antisemites, homophobes, and my whole cast of characters. Some people love them.

People of different backgrounds also have widely different responses to my posts on loving each other, respect for every individual life, the ethics of war, respect for religious diversity, struggling with rationalism, respect for atheists, and love of our lonely little blue rock in space.

To be honest, I don’t really care and here is why.

I began this blog as a way to keep myself writing. It was for me. I blog as if I were writing in a diary. The only difference between this and a private journal is that I think about whether what I write here is something I’m willing to let others read. It’s a diary but it’s not private.

My one unshakable belief comes from Aristotle and is simply this: “The unexamined life is not worth living“. I believe that we humans are distinguished from other mammals simply by our power to reason. I don’t know if that is really true because I have a 50 year bias toward cetaceans given to me by my mentors Greg Bateson and John Lilly. But, from what I can know without talking to orcas it seems we are unique in our capacity for reason. Most of us under-utilize that blessing and some of us use it for monstrous purposes. But, for me personally, thinking, pondering, debating, considering, arguing, and examining are the reasonable paths to being fully human.

My blog, therefore, does not try to convince you of anything. It does not try to insist that I’m right. In fact, I admit that I’m often not. All this blog does is to give you an unobstructed view into my personal self-examination. I have a substantial private life. But the part of my wrestling with God, biology, philosophy, and existing which I choose to expose is, herein, an open book.

So, I’m going to continue to piss you off sometimes. I’m going to let you watch my struggle if you so choose. You can’t get me to stop doing that even if you negatively react to my posts. All you have to do is stop reading them if you don’t like them. Personally, I hope that you continue to read this writing for many years to come. All I hope is that I challenge you to think; and that by exposing my self-examination I somehow help you, yourselves, to grow.

I’m grateful to all of you whether you like me and my writing or not. You challenge me to think and I hope the challenge is mutual.

In deep gratitude and love for you all: Happy Thanksgiving.

 

 

One of my 2017 resolutions is to be more positive about things. I am no longer going to be negative and cynical. I am starting now.

I am very positive and enthusiastic about Donald Trump’s national security selections! This is great news! When these guys start World War III we will all finally be able to find out who was right about The Messiah at the end of days. This is exciting news for everyone I am being very positive in my thinking about it. What a great start!!! It feels so good to be thinking positive!

Ok. Sarcastic bullshit aside, just seriously consider this…

Suppose you wanted to build a nationalist state based on the values of racial superiority. misrepresented religious dogma, fear, state power, limited civil rights for selected classes, deportation, torture, and the internment of those deemed untrustworthy. Um… I dunno… maybe like the Third Reich in… oh… 1933, 1935… you know… like that. Hitlerish, perhaps. What would your first step be?

I have a cool idea!!!

How about putting 3 fringe, homophobic, islamophobic, misogynistic, exceptionalistic, racist white men in the positions of intelligence agency director, chief legal council, and national security advisor? Hey!!! That just might work.

Now, I’m not saying that anyone would do such things. I’m not saying that they’d be done with evil intentions. This is the 21st century and we’ve become an advanced, enlightened society. Surely that would be impossible.

We need to work hard on all levels to make sure everything stays perfect and I’m glad our CIA director, for example, will always be above politics. But, who knows what could happen. I don’t know.

What I do know is that there are many open jobs now and I’m torn. I can’t decide if I should apply for propaganda minister since I’m such a good writer or director of the secret CIA prison system in case my blog posts end me up in one of them anyway.

God Bless the Trump security team. I feel safe now.

Dear Mr. Trump,

I just got off the telephone with a Latina friend. Her high school aged daughter has struggled with depression problems that have largely been under control recently. Today she had a very serious breakdown. I asked my friend what happened.

My friend is Mexican but is married to a Caucasian. She lives in a small town who’s population is primarily middle-class whites. Her daughter has never before experienced racism. This is because, as I found out today her friends have “always considered her white”. 

Two days ago you were elected President. Yesterday, on a school field trip, for the first time, her long-time friends began teasing her about being “a Mexican”. Last night, after the field trip, this lovely young lady was overwhelmed by racist text messages. She awoke this morning in dispair having lost all of the positive changes to her emotional condition.

Mr. Trump, you say you are not a racist; you say you want to bring all Americans together; you say that white supremacist support is not indicative of your values. I desperately want to believe that but, less than 2 days after your election I have a friend whose family is experiencing racism that they had never before seen.

Prove to me this isn’t what you want. Speak out to your supporters and tell them to teach their children not to hurt others. If you can’t do at least that then I see no path to decency.

My friend Tom Johnston reminded me of something critically important.

In 1938, on the night of November 9th and continuing into the 10th, Sturmtruppen acting on a government order destroyed Jewish shops, Jewish homes, and virtually  every synagogue in Germany and Austria. This was Kristallnacht, “the night of broken glass”. It foreshadowed years of increasingly intense efforts to obliterate the Jewish people. On this day, each year, I pray that such a horror forever cease.

In 2016, 76 years to the day later, in the early morning hours of November 9th, Donald Trump because the president-elect of one of the greatest experiments in liberty and individual human value ever to be created, the United States of America. Trump rose to power amid promises to “Make America Great Again” but proposing to do so via strategies of mass deportation and xenophobic religious discrimination.

Perhaps the most significant change in American politics began on the same day as one of Europe’s greatest tragedies. This could be interpreted as a terrifying coincidence but I am optimistic that it is just that, a random coincidence. None the less, since Mr. Trump has been actively promoted by white supremacists, the KKK, and violent Islamophobic xenophobes, I would like to use this “coincidence” to ask you all for one thing. As we move into the uncharted waters with a new captain who has never sailed before, please, please, please, please remember this:

Ours is a nation of immigrants founded explicitly on the principles of liberty and respect for individuals. It took a while to get the kinks out and, yes, the 3/5 clause represents a horrific injustice. But, we Americans are supposed to respect each other’s individual worth regardless of race, religion, gender, gender identity, or any other variable. I hope you will stand with me on this night of broken glass with a continually strengthening devotion to liberty, justice, and the dignity of every single human being. Remember what CAN happen; know that it CAN happen here; and work to make America great for even those of us who aren’t Christian, white, and wealthy. Nip in the bud, any tendency to allow this change to to make worse the lives of others.

Love each other no matter what.

 

 

vote

I have friends and family who strongly disagree with my contention that Donald Trump has many of the behaviors of a certain German leader in the years before WWII, a fascist leaning reminiscent of Mussolini, and a following that is taken nearly verbatim from Elias Canetti’s book “Crowds and Power”. Many of you are not reminded of 1933. Many of you don’t know the history of Europe to which I refer. Some of you don’t care. That is your right.

No matter what you think of my personal position, I hope you will take one last look at the possibility that I’m right and ask yourself if you see a risk to a Trump presidency. I hope I’ve been compelling enough to at least make you think a little.

If I’ve convinced you of nothing then please know that I still love you all and I respect your opinions and unconditionally respect your right to have them.While I want you to believe what I believe I know that many of you don’t. Still, I must tell you this:

The only way to create the country you want to see, the only way to create change, is to use the right that so many of our fore(mothers) have fought for for 2 centuries. Regardless of whether or not you are on my side of this terrifying election…..

Get out and vote!